Black and white drawings for sale

black and white drawings for sale

“ Good job son, better a bully than the victim”.

 I have been the bully and have also been the one bullied by other people. As a child growing up in a small town where everyone knew everyone, reputation is everything, and if you got caught “slipping” EVERYBODY knew! Luckily I learned my lesson at an early age; however, some are not so fortunate. This is my story.

I grew up a very selfish little girl who wanted things but never feeling as if I was getting what I wanted. So when I saw people that had what it was I thought I wanted, (even though I had everything I needed) it made me sad and angry. I grew up in an old house that was falling apart from the inside out. I had kinky hair, my feet turned in when I walked, and to make matters worse, I had to wear glasses. I got my first pair of glasses at the age of 7. I was so excited about my glasses because everyone in my family wore them. It was a rite of passage. Little did I know that it was just another ingredient for a recipe of humiliation.

I always compared everyone to me and they always seemed to be better off. When I would go to the home of relatives, I would compare their home to the one I lived in. When I went to school, and was one of the two black girls in class, I would compare my hair texture to the other girls. I was different and I knew it, and it made me angry because I just wanted to fit in and be like everyone else. But I was not and there was this one kid in my 1^st  grade class who kept reminding me of that fact. Bailey. Bailey was tall and skinny, his feet turned in, and he also wore glasses and had braces. For some reason he must have thought I was worse off than him because he always picked on me. He would call me frog legs, four eyes and nappy head  when ever we would go on the playground. He harassed me by chasing me and pushing me in the dirt every chance he got. I remember crying and yelling out “I’m going to tell my brother on you, if you don’t leave me alone!” I was afraid of Bailey. I hated going to the playground so I would stay inside when we had the option to do so.

On my way home from school, I would walk with my brother ( he was in the fifth grade at the time) and would tell him what Bailey does to me. I thought he would defend me and beat him up for me because he was a boy. Nope! Instead he had a BETTER idea! He decided to set up a fight where Bailey and I would have it out once and for all-I was terrified! But, he said he would be around just in case it did not go well for me. So I agreed.

One afternoon, when school let out, we waited around for Bailey. He usually rode home with his older brother too (who was also in the fifth grade).  I noticed that my brother and his brother knew each other, but I was too nervous and focused on this fight to even care. I don’t remember doing much talking, however, all I remember is feeling a tremendous amount of courage because my brother was there for back up just in case something went wrong. I was still afraid of Bailey because he was really tall, and he was a boy! So, our brothers gave us the go ahead to fight, and I’m nervous, and Bailey is still selling out, as usual, and he is just making me mad! So, I punch him in the stomach kick him in the knees and push him to the ground and starts pounding him!  With every hit yelling “ LEAVE –ME- ALONE, LEAVE –ME –ALONE!”, soon after a crowd gathers and see this little girl beating up this boy. Bailey the bully becomes the victim.

I came to the realization that Bailey and I had something in common. We both hated the cards life dealt us  so we unleashed our unhappiness on to others around us. Whenever I got mad, I pushed other kids down and threatened them. It was a cycle of hurt that just kept churning. It was not until I myself became the victim, once again, that I straightened up. I was getting older and I had to focus on getting out of my situation instead of remaining in it. My father always stressed the importance of education. I was tired of getting into trouble in school and living with the fear of my parents finding out. I wanted to leave that small town  so I knew I had to behave and do well in school.

I was blessed to experience both points of view and have learned that Bullies are victims too. They have been victims of abuse, so they abuse others. Bullies are victims of low self esteem, so they try to deprive others of their self esteem. They are victims of poverty, so they take things from other people who have what they want.

Bullies portray  a false sense of entitlement, because entitlement only happens when you have earned that which you are entitled to. For example you are entitled to a pay check because you worked those eight hour shifts. Bullies do not earn, they take, thinking that their “ hard life” entitles them to do the things they do.  Bullies are victims of their own deceit. Deceiving themselves into believing that their way of doing things is the real way to live. Self deception is the breeding ground for criminal thinking and can lead down the wrong path. Unfortunately for Bailey, this became all too real.

If you know your child is a bully, do not just pat them on the back, and say  “ good job son, better a bully than  the victim”. Raise your children with the value of earning what want. Instill in your children manners and respect. Teach them that generosity is far more rewarding than receiving. Raise them to have and honorable character, which is doing right because it is the right thing to do. Don’t reward your child for being a bully, because bullies are victims too.